There is a rat race between parents when it comes to providing the essentials to children. Comparison with what other parents are providing, and what more I can do better than them are some of the hovering thoughts.

Now that you are parents, let’s look at those issues that keep you away from the joys of parenting. When you first gave birth to your child, your inner instinct was to protect the child, love the child and be possessive about their upbringing.

Some parents get so carried away in ensuring that the child has a bright future, that the child’s upbringing becomes a means to an end.

Fear about the child’s future is something that most parents go through. Will their child be able to achieve all that the parent has planned for him/her? Hence the parent begins to plan every step of the child’s growth to reduce the probability of failure. Micro management of the child’s day- to-day activities increases, and leaves little room for the child to explore his/her life. This in turn makes the child extremely dependent and reduces the child’s capability of managing emotions.

If you really want to make a bright future for the child, a bit of introspection will reveal whether your expectations are factual or are they detrimental to the child.

You will have to identify the natural inclination of the child and guide him/her in the right direction. You will have to use good judgment coupled with fore sight in making decisions. Planning is important, but flexibility to accommodate the child’s needs and wants is pertinent.

Deviation of the child’s behavior / actions from the preset plan generates anger, especially when there is no room for improvising the plan. Spending enough of time with the child, being patient in learning the child should be an important aspect of the child’s upbringing. It is a well-known fact that the child needs the mother more than the father. Managing work in the most efficient way that would not hamper the work and deadlines, but at the same time would well accommodate the child is crucial. Companies today are making great efforts to accommodate working parents. Training sessions on time management skills, proper delegation and work life balance are being conducted. Make sure you avail these options

The father’s role in the life of a child cannot be underestimated. Parenting is both the responsibility of the father and mother. Many fathers think that their work ends with providing financial resources at home, and it is completely the wife’s responsibility to oversee the child’s growth.

Ego is generated when the child does not get good grades, becomes a backbencher and complaints from school keep piling up. Fathers especially get abusive and angry at the incompetence of the child. Coercing the child by shouting, blaming, threatening and sometimes beating becomes a regular affair. The father thinks that this would force the child into better performance or behavior. But how can something that is negative (anger & ego) bring about a positive change in your child’s life?

There is an academy award- winning movie called The King’s Speech – which can act as a guide on how to teach and treat your children. In the movie, a young prince had a speech problem. He would stutter incessantly. His father would insult him, hoping that it would teach him a lesson to talk properly. A therapist came into the young prince’s life, and helped him through kindness, support & love that encouraged him to start talking smoothly.

Significant effort should be taken in teaching, re-teaching and conducting yourself in a manner that you would like your child to behave. Be willing to spend time, energy & effort to imbibe the necessary skills, values, strength and security in your child. Time well spent in their early stage of upbringing will definitely bear fruits in the future!